Wants vs Needs

Wants are far different than needs.

I have been attempting to ignore this fact for quit a while, but last night I was forced to face the truth. Sometimes you want something so badly that it seems to become a need. It's not a need. It's a want that is so deeply embedded into your heart that it seems that it would take God Himself to come down and tell you to leave it alone before you actually do.

I have a want. A want that I have become so infatuated with that the mere thought of loosing it makes my stomach churn. For a while, this want seemed to be nothing more than an idea...that idea turned into a lust...that lust turned into a physical possession...that physical possession turned into an obsession...and that obsession turned into a life lesson.

My lesson is that I am finally able to clearly see what I have been thinking for so long.

I struggle with hiding things from myself. It sounds crazy, but I know I am not alone. I am able to note unfortunate facts that are right in front of my face, but I am also able to block my mind from letting that information transfer anywhere close to my heart. I am able to block bad news to the point that I am filled with the delusion that the bad news does not exist. It sounds nice to be able to just "block" ideas from yourself that you know would make you unhappy, but in all reality, it's terrible for your mental health.

I have been knowing for a while that this want of mine is not benefiting me the way it should. In some cases, it's slowing me down. But, I have been blocking the negative about my want for so long that my love for my want grew into a facade of a need.

So, last night as I rode around town with my friends, celebrating yet another 21st birthday in the crew, I got punched in the face by reality. As everyone was holding red solo cups in their hands, I was holding onto my sanity as I randomly realized that I am not as happy as I would like to make myself believe with my "need". My subconscious thoughts took surface as I faced the ugly monster that has been locked away deep in my head: the truth about my need being a want.

I strongly believe that everyone on this earth has a want that they love so badly that they have convinced themselves that it is a need. Dig deep into your mind and categorize your wants from your needs. It's not easy, but it's healthy.

Will I be able treat my "need" as a want? Will you be able to treat yours?


Tiana